GRIEVING OUR OWN HEARTS

            Have you ever had a moment in your life that you would love to take back, reconsider, redo? I’ll wait for the answer but if you are like most of us the answer is an unqualified, yes! Sometimes we act rashly, we are impetuous and are momentarily embarrassed but there are other times that our behavior has lasting consequences in the lives of others and in our own hearts. As a matter of fact, our rash behavior can be as Abigail told David a “grief unto thee.” I believe there are lessons here for believers.

            David was in a vulnerable place in his life. He had been relentlessly and unfairly pursued by Saul, Samuel had recently died, and the struggle to survive in the wilderness was as hard as ever. He and his men had provided protection for the herds and herdsmen of a churlish man named Nabal. Now, in a time of need, David sought help in supplying his men from Nabal only to be mocked and dismissed in a condescending way. David snapped! He had respected Saul and spared his life, he had grieved the loss of Samuel, he had done his best to be a good neighbor to Nabal and now he was being treated in a humiliating way by this scoundrel. This was too much!

            In a fit of temper, he gathers his men and rides to kill Nabal for this insufferable treatment. After being so careful to respect King Saul, so proper in his grieving over Samuel, he is going to act out in rage and put a stain on his life and the testimony of the God who has always cared for him. Thank God for Abigail’s quick action. Being the wife of Nabal, this totally ungracious man, you might think she would let events take their course but she is a woman of character. She might be trapped in a loveless arranged marriage but she was a woman who loved the Lord and knows His heart. She arranged for a large supply of food and supplies to be given to David and his men and rather than sending them by the hand of a servant she accompanies the supplies and speaks to David herself.

            She does not excuse her husband but she does confront David with the mistake that his anger is about to lead him into.  He has been so careful and so controlled up to this point. Though he has suffered much wrong treatment he had reacted with mercy and grace. Listen to Abigail as she speaks to David.

I Samuel 25:28 I pray thee, forgive the trespass of thine handmaid: for the LORD will certainly make my lord a sure house; because my lord fighteth the battles of the LORD, and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days.

            David, do not let your anger in this vulnerable moment ruin what you have for so long accomplished. Abigail follows up with these words to David.

I Samuel 25:30-31 And it shall come to pass, when the LORD shall have done to my lord according to all the good that he hath spoken concerning thee, and shall have appointed thee ruler over Israel; That this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offence of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless, or that my lord hath avenged himself: but when the LORD shall have dealt well with my lord, then remember thine handmaid.

            Consider five lessons we should learn from this encounter lest we bring grief to our own hearts.

1.          Be aware of your vulnerable moments.

            We all have moments when we are tired, fearful, confused, perhaps even jealous or envious. The heart that feels slighted may be the most vulnerable heart of all. They are moments that great errors in judgment can occur. Pray before you act or react.

2.          We can undo in a moment the good testimony that we have spent years building and protecting.

            It is not only anger issues but a lack of judgment in many areas that can bring grief to our own hearts. A vulnerable moment can skew our judgment concerning finances, the opposite sex. We can say hurtful things that will wound someone we love. Sadly, we will be remembered for the lapse in judgment not the years we lived making good choices.

3.         A moment of poor discernment can mar our enjoyment of future blessing. 

            Every day that David lived as King after Saul, after his time being pursued in the wilderness was over, after the Ark was brought to Jerusalem, all of that would have been experienced with the goad pricking his heart of killing Nabal in a fit of anger. Nabal’s foolish behavior was not worth David’s future joy! The Apostle Paul lived a life of great victory but forever remembering holding the cloaks of those who he watched and encouraged to stone Stephen.

4.          Listen to the voices of reason and righteousness of those God puts in your life.

            I am so thankful for my wife and her sweet servant’s demeanor. I cannot tell you how many times she has stood in the road like Abigail and stopped me from grieving my own heart. Thank God for friends, great staff members, deacons, and mentors who provide good counsel. Listen to them!

5.         We are not better than our Master. 

            Jesus was treated horribly and never because He deserved such treatment. Yet, He never reacted in rage that motivated a sinful urge to satisfy Himself by hurting others. As a matter of fact, He did not kill the one that treated Him the worst, He died for them.

            David let Nabal live. By the way God took care of Nabal in an appropriate manner decided by God not David. David may not have loved the experience but his heart and testimony were never marred and grieved over a foolish act toward a foolish man.